O’Neill rubbed his face. Outside the central palace, the pink light of dawn was growing stronger while inside the bright glare of lights bathed the mirror. Equipment and people surrounded the alien technology. Carter was talking to someone over the radio, and Daniel was trying to reassure the T’Jan that the lovely object d’Art they’d tucked in the alcove was in fact a portal to hundreds of other dimensions. Teal’c looked at O’Neill.

“The remote has arrived at Cheyenne Mountain and will be carried to us shortly by Major Davis.”

“Good,” was all O’Neill could manage. He was fighting the aftereffects of the mead and longed for a mouthful of Scope. Barring that, he nodded to Teal’c and moved past him to where Carter stood.

“Sir. We’ve got the whiteboard up with the confirmation of our reality and SG3 standing by,” she told him. O’Neill gave a grunt of acknowledgement even as a wave of fatigue washed over him. T’Jan Maddoc clapped his shoulder.

“You need sleep, Tau’rii O’Neill, but I know you won’t take it.”

“Not while one of my kids is doing her Alice through the Looking Glass impersonation, no—“ he replied wearily, knowing T’Jan wouldn’t get the reference and past caring about it. Daniel managed a one sided smile.

“The question remains though—was it merely a random coincidence or not? Rose READ both reports about our encounters with the mirror.”

“Reading about and actually EXPERIENCING an event are two different things, Daniel—flip through any chapter of the Joy of Sex and you’ll see what I mean. Nah, I think she saw something and stepped closer for a look. She wasn’t thinking about the mirror itself, she was reacting to whatever she SAW.”

“So you’re saying she might have been—lured—to the mirror?” Daniel asked, pushing up his glasses. O’Neill shrugged.

“Or simply presented with something so terrible, wonderful, unbelievable, yadda yadda yadda that she had to go take a closer peek.”

“So why didn’t she call us?”

“I don’t know, Daniel, but believe me, I’m going to ASK that the moment we get her back—“ came the annoyed reply.

Daniel turned away, not wanting Jack to see the concern in his eyes.

The long trip through dark, creepy halls towards the SGC shower room had been unnerving. Flickering lamps barely lit the way, and rustling noises emanating from the dark doorways they passed. Jack had her wrist firmly in his grasp as he half-dragged her along, his stride long and purposeful.

“Still have running water—underground filtration system through the aquifer or something like that. Point is that we’ve got a pretty secure compound here, not too far from one of the Jaffa gold mining camps. The food supply’s been steady and I’ve got enough intelligence topside to keep an eye on our friendly neighborhood Snakeheads.”

“Jack, what about the Tok’ra, the Asgard?”

“Yeah well the Bone Tokers and the Ass Guard haven’t seen fit to dirty their hands and lend aid in any significant fashion,” came a snarling reply. The bitterness in his tone ran deep.  “Apparently the Tok’ra knew about the virus, but didn’t tell us because it would have compromised some planet where their big laboratory is. The Replicators ate Thor, and his fellow greyboys sort of lost their huevos after that. They didn’t want to be fighting on two fronts, so humanity took it up the ass while the Asgard tried to get rid of the mechanical bugs.”

Appalled, Rose gasped. “Oh God—they FAILED?”

“Who knows—we haven’t had news in a couple of years, so I’m not holding my breath. Got enough trouble right here on planet earth without them.”

Jack steered her though a recognizable door and she nearly stumbled. This room was better lit, and the flickering glow of braziers reflected on the tiles, making it almost cozy. A thin man bent his head.

“Sir, it’s ready. Anything further?”

“Open up the beer for the staff—one bottle per man, two for the engineers. And tell Daniel he’s lucky this time.”

Siler’s eyes flickered from Jack to Rose and she bit her lip to see his appearance.

Siler’s uniform was as threadbare as Daniel’s and Jack’s, and he wore an eye patch over his left eye. Long scars ran down that side of his face, and his hair was in a stubby ponytail. He left the showers as Jack finally released his grip on Rose’s arm.

“So. We have a bath for you, and clean clothes since your outfit’s got some crap on it, and after that, dinner,” came his mild tone. Rose drew in a deep breath and she looked at him, staring deep into his dark eyes.

“Jack--WHY?”

With a gentleness that startled her, he reached out, cupping the side of her neck, tilting her head up to look at him. The heat in his eyes was familiar, but under it lay a shimmer of desperation, a hint of bleak despair that was barely held in check.

“You don’t know about us, do you? Let’s get you in the tub and I’ll tell you.”

“No.”

“Rose, don’t make me zat you first—it stings like hell and you’re SUCH a bitch afterwards—“ he stated flatly. As his hand continued to caress her neck, the other one pressed the muzzle of a zat against her ribs. She swallowed hard. Reluctantly she began to unbutton her shirt. He nodded.

“Back in the beginning, both of us were married to other people. You were Hammond’s second wife, a trophy of sorts. He wasn’t the passion of your life and both of you knew that, but as marriages go it was comfortable. That’s what you always told me. George was loyal and undemanding and comfortable. I on the other hand, had a very UN comfortable marriage with Major Samantha Carter. We’d gotten hitched back when she thought I was going to be her daddy stand-in, and I was flattered as hell that a hottie like her could want a grizzled bastard like me.”

Jack paused heavily.

 “Big mistake. I wanted kids, she didn’t. I wanted to retire; she was planning on making General. I liked opera and fishing, she adored nuclear fusion and rocket science. Jesus, even in bed we were mismatched. Finally after a few years I had enough of her patient sighs and helpful suggestions and told her we’d be better a hell of a lot better off just working together instead of pretending to be in love.”

Rose peeled off her shirt and stared at Jack, who rubbed a hand over his face.

“She went back to being Carter, and it got a lot better. Then the Stargate program started. Hammond and I had a go round about having Carter on SG1 with me, the whole conflict of interest thing, but we were fine. She knew I’d be objective with her, and I knew she’d back me up to the hilt. End of issue.”

“Oh. But—Hammond?”

“Getting to that. Just leave the shirt on the floor. Genial George the doting husband let you visit the SGC, and that’s when I noticed you. Didn’t say or do a damned thing that was out of line, but even so, I noticed you a LOT. Looked forward to your visits. Found excuses to go see George after hours so I could stop by the house, play with your stepdaughters, and talk to you. I was pathetic, but what else is new.”

Rose turned around to peel off her tee shirt and bra. Jack laughed at her modesty.

“We were so well-behaved, Rose baby. I never said a thing, not ONCE, never gave you a clue as to how I felt. And then that damned Touched virus hit on an afternoon when you were visiting.”

“Oh GOD—“

“Jesus, YES! You jumped me in the shower room of the SGC and I didn’t have the moral courage to turn you down, not when I’d been lusting after you for ages. Slick, raw, hot spine-melting sex, Rose-- it might have been started by a virus, but both of us knew better. George never blamed either of us for that incident, but we couldn’t forget it. If the attraction between us had been hard to ignore before, it was hell now.”

Rose looked over her shoulder, hands protectively around her chest. Jack shook his head at her unspoken demand.

“Nope. If I turn around you’re going to try and run, and I’m not in the mood to chase you down through the halls. If I don’t catch you, one of the men will. You don’t WANT that, Rose, believe me.”

She believed him. With quick jerky movements she peeled off the rest of her clothing and slid into the tub, twisting her body to shield it from his view. Jack moved to sit on the rim of the stainless steel tub, gazing with amused affection at her.

“Sorry we don’t have any of that vanilla stuff you liked so much. The second Rose used it up.”

“Jesus, Jack, how MANY of us have you grabbed?” she blurted, trying to draw her knees up so any view was effectively spoiled under the water. He dabbled a hand in the bath, shrugging.

“It’s either three or four, depending on whether you count the original I married. If you do, then you’ re number four. If not, you’re three.”

“Christ! WHY?”

“Oh come ON, Rose!” Jack shook his head at the inanity of her question. He rubbed the back of his neck, a clear sign of his agitation, and she felt that wash of déjà vu again. This man was thinner, with longer hair almost completely silver now, but the very ghost of Jack in every move.

“Right now, above us, the planet we used to know of as Earth is pretty much one big exploitable resource for Apothis! The humans who aren’t carrying snakes in their guts are dying out because there aren’t any women left. Down here we have a way of bringing women to the planet.”

“Oh God—you’re saying that all those versions of ME are the guinea pigs. You’re pulling us in to see if the virus is gone yet!”

Agitated, she began to climb out of the tub, but Jack caught her forearms and forced her down again, his ragged sleeves dipping into the water.

“No! At first we kept looking for Carter. She had the brains to help us, along with Janet. But in a lot of the other realities those two were too important to be on teams, so we didn’t see them. I saw you though, and both Daniel and Harry agreed with me that you’d be--fine.”

Jack swallowed hard, blinking.

“So far I’ve watched you DIE three times, Rose. Twice from the virus and once from an eight story fall down the ladder. God help me, THIS time, you’re not going to.”

He let go of her and leaned back, giving her space. Rose sank lower in the water and looked up at him.

“Did you let Hammond die?” she asked swiftly. Jack shook his shaggy grey head.

“Not willingly. George had a heart attack at his desk shortly after we’d met with the Asgard. We got him to the infirmary, but Janet couldn’t do anything. Before he died, George passed me the authority to keep the Gate program going, and damn it, he told me to take care of you and the girls. Right there with a full medical team listening in. It was like a friggin’ soap opera!”

“So you married me.”

“It was in my best interest, yeah—“ he admitted cautiously, lost in memory for a moment. Rose shifted in the water, aware of a smell of smoke in the tiled room.

“It was--incredible,” he admitted with a bewildered grimace. “Had it all for a year and a half. Family, wife, stable homelife—all that stuff I never admitted wanting and couldn’t get enough of once I had the chance. We barbequed, and remodeled and argued and screwed and LIVED, ya know? I HAD a life for once in my miserable existence. Friggin’ heaven.”

There was an empty pause, an embarrassed moment as Rose bit her lip and Jack wiped his face with his hand. He gave a deep chest-heaving sigh.

“The motherships arrived two weeks before our second anniversary. Apothis seeded the virus on every continent, hitting the major cities first—ugly days, Rose. You don’t want to KNOW how bad. Cheyenne got sealed off, but not before one of the clerks and two nurses caught the bug. We isolated them but—“ Jack waved a hand helplessly. Rose wrapped her arms protectively around her drawn up knees. He continued.

“We couldn’t stay sealed, not with that many corpses rotting down here, and that’s what Apothis was counting on. He got in before we could detonate, and took the gate, then tried to bring the mountain down himself. Mostly succeeded too, but we survived.”

“And now?”

“And now we scout, raid the Jaffa, wreak havoc where we can, and hole up here.”

As she locked gazes with him, Rose suddenly knew his intent, understood for the first time the ultimate purpose behind his raids through the mirror. She bared her teeth.

“I am NOT having your kid, you psycho!” she shrieked, fists clenching on the stainless steel rim of the whirlpool tub. Jack pounced; his grip on her forearms tightened painfully, and he brought his face to hers. In the dim firelight she shrank back from the feral gleam in those dark eyes.

“In a year or two, you won’t have a choice. Keep screaming and the rest of this first night’s gonna be pretty fucked up too—“

“You wouldn’t DARE!”

“I wouldn’t, but I can’t speak for the rest of this mountain, Rose. And I have to sleep sometime.”

His flat matter of fact tone chilled her even though the water was still hot from the zat blast; Rose blinked away a prickle of frustration that wet her eyes. Seeing that, Jack nodded.

“I have sixty-two men under me here in what’s left of Cheyenne Mountain. We’re still disciplined to a good degree, and every one of them has put it on the line at some point. We’ve got refugee NID guys, some civilians, and a few cadets--but no women. It’s been a rough two years, Rose. As long as we’re all in the same boat, I can maintain discipline, but if word gets out that we succeeded in bringing a woman through the mirror and she survives—“

He didn’t finish. He didn’t have to.

“All due respect sir, you look like hell.”

“Thank you Carter, it’s always good to know.”

“Sorry sir, but most of us have taken a break and you haven’t. I know you’re worried about her, but you won’t do us any good if you don’t rest,” Carter pointed out in a factual manner. O’Neill rubbed his face, feeling a hint of shadow around his chin.

‘Point duly noted, Major,” he replied with forced politeness before dropping to a squat against the hallway wall, ignoring the twinges in his knees. He stared between the technicians at the opaque surface of the mirror, watching it swirl lightly. An image of an SGC lab appeared on the other side, and a figure glanced curiously at them: a Siler with Colonel’s eagles on his jumpsuit. O’Neill waved his hand.

“Nooooooope. Next channel—“

“How do you know?” Daniel demanded as the mirror Siler read the whiteboard Carter held up to him and shook his head. O’Neill gave a one-shouldered shrug.

“Clowderbock’s a threat assessor and resource analyst. Whatever made her step through had to be more compelling than Siler getting promoted.” He muttered wearily. Daniel gave a slow nod and dropped down next to O’Neill against the wall.

“We’ve dialed almost fifty alternatives, and communicated with thirty-one of them. Out of the remaining eighteen or so, seven were out due to physical impossibilities, four were undeterminable and the last three showed signs of use but no life within visible range.”

“And your POINT, Daniel?”

“My point is that there are an infinite number of alternatives through that mirror, Jack. All of OUR jaunts were within a few degrees of our reality here. However, if someone from the other side did the kidnapping, then Rose could be anywhere across the spectrum.”

O’Neill’s mouth tightened.

“I know that. But I’m not prepared to give up.”

“Neither are WE, Jack,” Daniel reminded him firmly. Both men sighed. After a while, he spoke again in a soft voice.

“What was the fight about?”

“Oh I think you can figure that out—“

“The Ceremony,” Daniel stated flatly. O’Neill let his head drop back and he stared at the ceiling of the palace.

“Yeah. Much as I want to be on good terms with anyone who can remotely help us deal with the Goa’uld, I can’t help but resent the fact that THIS coalition involves a public and protracted lip lock with the woman who rocks my world. And the hell of it is I’m supposed to put it aside for the greater good.”

“Jack—“ Daniel tried to sound reassuring, but O’Neill went on in a low rough voice.

“I know it, SHE knows it, and yet I can’t let it GO. This thing Rose and I are not supposed to have is all I’ve got, Daniel.”

“And now you’re beating yourself up with regret because in this latter course of events you realize how quickly the important issues take precedent over the petty ones.”

“Masterly summation, Doctor Jackson. No wonder the Air Force likes to throw money at you—“ Jack’s words might have been sarcastic, but he was too tired, and Daniel understood. It worried him that O’Neill was so discouraged that even his venting was soft and slow.

He shifted to look at O’Neill.

“So the question becomes—in the face of reality, can you still deal with Rose going on missions with us?”

O’Neill slowly rubbed his eyes, fingertips sliding along either side of his nose as he did so, each stroke sluggish and deliberate.

“One crisis at a time, Daniel.”