From: HockeyKing@Hobbitforming.com
To: DarqueLady@TheDominion.com
Hey Sweetheart,
I know it’s only
been two days, but I miss you something
fierce—thought you ought to know that right off the bat. Consider
this the
start of an IOU for kisses when I get back.
Got
out on Tuesday,
late. Damn airport here at Uvita got shut down for some security drill
so we
circled the runway for an extra hour and then had the added indignity
of having
our luggage searched once we landed as well. Frankly I can’t see
why—if anyone
had a bomb they’d have set it off up on the air and not down in
the terminal,
right? I guess that little bit of logic escaped the authorities, who
wanted to
give me attitude about the gun safe and the badge I was packing.
I made nice, don’t
worry, although I did expand my Spanish
vocabulary in some interesting ways.
The room’s clean,
and it’s a decent hotel for once, close
enough to the beach to hear the surf at night. I was supposed to room
with
Charlie Castillo from Vice, but he had to cancel at the last
minute—heard his
wife went into labor early so he figured he’d do the right thing
and stay with
her in Henderson. That means I have the room here to myself, and
that’s not too
bad. Good continental breakfast, but it doesn’t touch your
pancakes, Heather.
(I sort of like the sound
of that, actually. Seems to be a
good euphemism for what we got up to last Saturday. I DO remember syrup
was
involved, although the hotcakes were still on the kitchen counter, off
in the
other room—ah memories!)
So far I’ve sat
through four seminars, a workshop and
something called an infobrunch, which is nothing but another seminar
with a
buffet thrown in. Two days, and all I’ve got to show for it is
some new
databases, an updated Interpol directory, and a lot of lost time. Truth
is,
most of this stuff could have been Emailed or faxed to me. If it
wasn’t for the
chance to catch up with Emilio and a few of the other guys I probably
would
have passed, especially now.
God I wish you were here.
I’m too old and too disinterested
to go bar-hopping these days, but there are some gorgeous places here
I’d love
to take you, starting, say, right here in the hotel room. Maybe if we
can manage
some time off together we’ll come back and I’ll let you
dazzle the waiters and
cab drivers. In the meantime, I’m off to have dinner with Emilio
and his wife,
and after that, I might see if I can find a souvenir to bring
home—ever had a
coconut with your name engraved on it?
Loving you always,
Jim
From: DarqueLady@TheDominion.com
To: HockeyKing@Hobbitforming.com
Darling Jim,
I miss you too—more
so since it’s gotten a little colder
these past few days. I keep waking up and groping around to find my
personal
heater, but he’s in
I’m sorry both that
the conference seems to be a bit of a
bust and that I couldn’t get away to go with you. Honestly,
owning one’s own
business does have its drawbacks, the biggest one being vacation
scheduling.
But I do have our two weeks blocked off for the end of summer, so
there’s
always that to look forward to.
Your
cleaning ladies are still very amused that El Capitan Brass has
‘una novia’,
and have taken to leaving little touches for me around your house
now—I found
some feminine personal products in the bathroom cupboards. When I tried
to
explain to the older sister, Dolores that they weren’t needed,
I’m not sure she
understood. She only smiled and told me that you were and I quote here,
Darling—‘muy virile y
hermoso’. Not that I was going
to argue, but I think her hopes of my conceiving unlikely. Virile and
handsome
you may be, (along with skilled, inventive and incorrigible at times)
but some
physical facts on my side are unchangeable.
She seemed unswayed by my assurances that
there would be no Brass bebes anytime soon.
I
took the liberty of getting your VCR repaired, so we can celebrate your
triumphant return from
Missing
you dreadfully!
Heather
To:
DarqueLady@TheDominion.com
From: HockeyKing@Hobbitforming.com
Sweetheart—
Oy!
No fuzzy pajamas! Crank up the thermostat if you must, but I’m
not going to let
you descend back into flannelism without a fight. The heater has his
preferences and satin sits at the top of the list, Heather baby, so
invest in a
down quilt, but keep the curves right where I can see them. And feel
them,
preferably soon.
Dolores
and her sister are plenty sharp—I’m sure they know the
score. They caught me
washing the sheets once, and I can safely say that although El Capitan
Brass
blushed, he did earn a wink and a nod from the two of them, along with
a
lecture on using too much bleach and not enough fabric softener.
Thanks
for getting the VCR done—although I’m sure it was probably
more than a new one
costs these days, and yes I’m a little behind the times, but you
of all people
know how much I’ve already invested in tapes, so thanks for
continuing to put
up with a cranky old technophobe. I’ll make it up to you in yard
work if you
like, and even set up that new feeder you wanted for the hedge.
Well,
Emilio and Katie are taking me out for the afternoon and they’re
talking about
a cruise on the water. Out of curiosity Heather--how do you feel about
deep sea
sport fishing, and what size bikini do you wear?
Ixnay
on the Annelflay!
Much
love,
Jim
To:
HockeyKing@ Hobbitforming.com
From: DarqueLady@The
Dominion.com
Hold
it, Buster--
Sport
fishing? As in Ernest Hemingway ‘let’s wrestle for hours
with marlins and
sharks before we cut the line and claim it was a lot of fun?’
THAT fishing?
Count me out, Jim. It has no appeal for me, especially when you throw
in the
delightful option of capsizing the boat and drowning on top of it all.
I’d much
rather spend an afternoon snorkeling or sailing.
And
exactly WHY do you need my bikini size, pray tell?
Suspicious
(but not wearing flannel)
Heather
To: DarqueLady@TheDominion.com
From: HockeyKing@Hobbitforming.com
Dollbaby,
Sorry
this note’s so late, but we just got back to the hotel about an
hour ago and
I’ve spent the last forty minutes scrubbing the stench of dead
bonito out of my
skin. I managed to get out of the fishing part of Emilio’s
cruise, but it
wasn’t easy, let me tell you. Apparently he and his cousin are
trying to start
a little charter business on the side, and I got roped into a trip.
Let
me state for the record, I’m not that crazy about boats.
Fortunately I didn’t
have to actually do any fishing, just sort of watch and shoot the bull
with everyone
else, and since I wasn’t paying attention I neglected the
sunscreen, so I now
have some painful resemblance to a lobster. Emilio managed to land a
few fish,
but all in all it was a less than thrilling outing that I won’t
be doing again
anytime soon.
Ah,
the bikini thing. Well, let’s just say there’s a nice
display on the mannequin of
the giftshop here at the hotel. Definitely—eye-catching and it
makes me think
of you every time I pass by it. I would hate to get it in a size too
big,
although too small wouldn’t bother me in the least, unless you
wore it in
public. Then it’s just a good thing I have a license to carry a
gun, isn’t it?
Gotta
go, last official day of police stuff. Home within a day or two, love
you more
than I can say—
Jim
To:
DarqueLady@TheDominion.com
From:
HockeyKing@Hobbitforming.com
Hon—
Sending
this off from a little cyberbooth here at the airport. Damn
flight’s been
delayed, so I won’t be getting in for at LEAST another four
hours. Please don’t
sweat about meeting me, I know you’ve got work, so I’ll get
a cab and call you
from the house once I’m in.
Remember,
I can detect flannel a mile away, so be forewarned.
Eager
for you,
Jim
TO:
HockeyKing@Hobbitforming.com
From:
DarqueLady@TheDominion.com
Jim
my love—
I’ve
left a few notes for you at the house, and I’d appreciate it if
you’d take them
seriously. I know you’re tired and hungry, but I promise you it
will all be
worthwhile, and I’ll see you as soon as I can!
Waiting
for you—
Heather
Note
#1 (folded, taped on front door)
You’re home!! Wonderful!
Leave your suitcases by the door, lock it behind you, and go straight
to the
kitchen. Do NOT fret about unpacking or laundry or any of that
nonsense. You
are entitled to relax!
Note
#2 (Pinned to refrigerator by little green magnets)
Inside
you’ll find a nice dry martini, complete with those little
onions you seem to like. Go ahead and take it with you into the
bathroom, since
you’re probably headed there anyway.
Note
#3 (taped to the mirror)
Soak a while, Jim! You’re
tired and need the time to relax, I know. Once you’re clean, dry
off and head
to bed--
Note
#4 (clipped across the back of one smirking, silk-clad woman)
Since you ARE the law,
there’s no penalty for removing this—welcome home, darling!
END
